I just received the endangered species condoms today from the Center for Biological Diversity, and my lovely girlfriend decided to model them. “Cover your tweedle; save the burying beetle”, “Hump smarter; save the snail darter”.
“Wrap with care; save a polar bear”, “Wear a condom now, save the spotted owl.”
I am doing my part by not creating a zygote. My haploid cell may be craving union with a male gamete, but I am purposefully leaving some space for the rest of the animals. It’s all a game of space, and who can take up the most, in the fastest amount of time. How many diapers does it take to fill a hole 80 metres deep anyhow? (random number found online from the UK)
“Wear a jimmy hat; save the big cat”, “Use a stopper, save the hopper.” Tiger tiger burning bright, in the forests of the……………zoos and truck stops and homes of the nouveaux riche and the backyards of trailer parks….. COVER your COCKadoodle whooooooooooooooooo…. (i have been watching too much I’m Alan Partridge online.)
More cheaply made shite houses, more parking lots for more malls for more stores to sell more crap for more people who have to consume consume consume, because we like, we want, we HAVE to have, we NEED stuff, we MUST own, and all the other stupid and wasteful things humans do because of our zombie brains on autopilot, because we think we deserve things. We are ruining the planet, and no, your child isn’t going to be different. MOMMY!!!!!!! i WANT this!!!!!!!
Cover your one eyed trouser snake, jake…..